Note to Self…

* To be read in approximately two years time should you ever get baby fever again…

Dear Self,

Please remember to read this should you ever consider getting pregnant again. In case, for some reason, you forget that you aren’t a fan of being pregnant. Yes, some women see the whole process as a wonderful, beautiful time. Not you. Of course, these are the same women who glow with a special I-love-being-pregnant radiance. You, however, perspire. Shiny-pimple-inducing-too-hot-stinky shine = so not glow-rius. And the dry skin patches on the face. Nice. Some women, the ones who radiate, also grow tiny cute little bellies. You, remember, start the baby belly growth in the thighs and booty. Your body insists upon growing a J.Lo-esque booty to carry a seven pound baby. Back fat. Thigh rubbage. NOT CUTE. Now, these women who also “love” the labor and delivery…you’re not one of them. Epidural-schmepidural. It still HURTS. The glamor ends the second you find out your pregnant. Bloat. Tummy issues. Ah, the fun continues for nine glorious months.

Lastly, remember you LOVE sleep. Another baby = another eternity of no sleep. You miss sleep. You crave sleep. You are good at sleeping….at least you think you are. It’s been so long since you’ve had a full night’s sleep you can’t even remember.

Yes, the cute cuddly baby is worth much of this. And you’ll likely forget all about the above should you really catch the all-consuming-mind-altering baby fever.

BUT consider yourself warned.

Non-glowing pregnant YOU


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